The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very dig this close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that numerous of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urbane areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that click for more we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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